Darcie D. Sims

May 20, 1947 - February 27, 2014

Obituary

Darcie D. SIMS, PhD., CHT, CT, GMS

Died at home on 2/27/14.  She is preceded in death by her parents, and her infant son, Austin “Big A.”  

Darcie wore many hats in her short time on this earth.  She was a mother, wife, grandmother, educator, leader, rose colored glasses wearer, smile on a stick carrier and friend.  She was an internationally recognized public speaker on the topic of Grief and Bereavement.  Darcie taught thousands of people all over the world how to cope with their grief.  She was awarded a lifetime achievement award, “The Voice of The Compassionate Friends” for her tireless efforts supporting families who cope with the death of a child.  Her work for the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors, TAPS, since 199 was described as, “She will forever live in the hearts of thousands of grieving military families.”   Darcie and her husband have lived in the Seattle area since 2005. 

 She is survived by her husband of 44 years, Robert “Tony” Sims, daughter, Alicia “Allie” Franklin, granddaughter, Darci Franklin, son-in-law, Greg Franklin and sister, Deborah Switzer of Enid, OK.

The family has asked that in lieu of flowers, a donation be made to The Compassionate Friends National Office in support of the Darcie Sims Memorial Training Fund, www.compassionatefriends.org

 Memorial service 1:00 PM, Tuesday, March 4, 2014 at Bonney-Watson Washington Memorial, 16445 International Blvd, SeaTac. 

Please sign the online memorial guestbook at www.bonneywatson.com.

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Rosemarie Coulthard
Rosemarie Coulthard
4 years ago

my life goals of wanting to be a grief counselor grew when I met Darcie. She was a wonderful woman who showed how to have strength with tears and that grief doesn’t have to rule you. If you have lost someone it is your place to grieve and also grow. She empowered so many and I am so very thankful that I was one. God bless her family now and forever.

Chuck Prestwood
Chuck Prestwood
4 years ago

Helen Keller said it best …

“”What we have once enjoyed

We can never lose,

All that we love deeply

Becomes a part of us.”

And hoping that the memories of thousands and thousands that will always carry Darcie “as part” of themselves bring you solace and comfort. My heart hurts with you.

I met Darcie in the early 80s when I attended my first TCF National Conference in Chicago… She taught me it was OK to smile.. even laugh..to find some joy in life after a child has died….. and I’ve never stopped/looked back since.

No one can replace her and I regret that newly bereaved will not benefit from knowing her.. even though her videos/tapes, etc, will continue to help…

Thank you Darcie… Rest in much deserved peace and enjoy your reunion with Big A.

Marguerite O'Connor
Marguerite O'Connor
4 years ago

So sorry for your loss. Darcie’s presentations were helpful, authentic & memorable. Darcie positively imprinted many people…a great legacy.

Anita Breen
Anita Breen
4 years ago

Darcie’s words and message gave me great comfort after losing my daughter. My thoughts and prayers go out to her family.

Jill Stephenson
Jill Stephenson
4 years ago

The day the news broke of Darcie’s death, the sun was shining bright and beautiful. I just know it was Darcie’s arrival in Heaven that turned up the brightness. What a wonderful, bright light she shared with countless people for so many years. The legacy she leaves us is nothing but pure love and hearts filled with joy. Although she is no longer physically here to teach, there is no question the value of what she has taught is endless and will carry us all to eternity. Rest easy wonderful lady, you are loved and will be missed terribly. I can imagine the joy you must now have in being reunited with your son, father and other loved ones. With love to all who mourn.

Jill

Bonnie Carroll
Bonnie Carroll
4 years ago

Darcie Sims gave this world the gift of hope and healing, taught us to remember love above all else, and shared joy in the midst of tremendous grief. At the end of each dinner at TAPS she would share her wonderful story of Thanksgiving dinner, ending with the prayer, “Thanks for the little while.” Darcie, we now thank you for the little while – it wasn’t long enough, but we will forever be grateful we shared this time with you! We love you always!

Linda Pountney
Linda Pountney
4 years ago

Darcie was a special lady with a mission. At many Twinless Twins Support Group conferences, she brought us from tears to laughter, giving us permission to grieve. Always encouraging us to remember the love, she personally helped me to let the joy seep back into my life. She had a well-honed gift earned from personal experience. Darcie inspired so many of us twins and will live on through the many gifts she gave us over the years.

Thank you Darcie… my prayers for her beloved family, who she cherished and spoke about often.

Kay Bevington  Alive Alone, Inc .
Kay Bevington Alive Alone, Inc .
4 years ago

Rodney and I first met Darcie in the 1980’s at a TCF Conference where everyone was talking about the ‘funny lady with the crazy hats’. Yes, Darcie wore many hats in her life but she’s best known, in the bereavement world, as that phenomenal speaker who knew the exact moment to take her audience from tears to laughter with her humor.

I personally witnessed Darcie sharing her love aned compassion with bereaved parents in one on one situations. She was well known as a speaker/workshop presenter/writer/ counselor but she was also your friend and confidante.

I will miss my conversations and interactions with Darcie and the bereavement world will miss her creativity and contributions to their healing journeys.

Austin,”Big A”, is now happy to have his mommy “home”.

Life is a dance, Thanks for accomjpanying uis on that dance, Darcie, if only for a little while.

Pamela Jayne Shelton
Pamela Jayne Shelton
4 years ago

Darcie my first cousin along w/ Debbie. I am shocked will miss our communication, and always remember our fun younger years at the Lake House. We always though of the Lake House as our home, because of the many moves our families made. My Summer memory was your Dad making us into sandwiches at bed time, that was so much fun to me.

You will always be in my thought, and prayers for your family. See you around the bend. Love, Pam

Richard & Pam Nomura
Richard & Pam Nomura
4 years ago

We are so sorry to hear about your great loss. We’re glad to have met Darcie, and know that she will be sorely missed. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Pheobe M. Best
Pheobe M. Best
4 years ago

My heart goes out to her family, she was one great lady that I had the fortune to meet in D.C. She was a ship on the horizon for many who were on a deserted island.

Patsy Hicks
Patsy Hicks
4 years ago

She was a great Lady, a great speaker on grief. She helped me a lot.

Maria O Morales
Maria O Morales
4 years ago

Thru her books I learned to be joyous again, after the death of my only child.

May her memory and joyous personality sustain you during this time, and always.

Karl Snepp
Karl Snepp
4 years ago

Tony – Sue and I are stunned and saddened, along with everyone else. You and Allie, Big A, Greg and Miss Darci have been hugged in our hearts often during these past few days. Darcie, if you’re reading this, thanks for helping us along our grief journey, and especially for helping us in so many ways to help others. I’m really ticked that I never got around to pitching you this idea I saw on the Internet a while ago:

Scott & Lynn Woll
Scott & Lynn Woll
4 years ago

We are saddened to learn of Darcie’s passing. We met her many years ago soon after our son passed away from SIDS and was so moved by a speech she gave at a conference that once I became State President of our SIDS Chapter we invited her to give the keynote at one of our annual “In Celebration” events in Tacoma, WA. I have always lovingly referred to Darcie as the “Erma Bombeck of Grief”……truly down to earth, extremely compassionate and hugely funny.

We count ourselves one of the lucky ones to have crossed her path in this life. She has brought much healing and relief to so many hurting families over her years of devotion…….we can only hope and believe that she is now comforting those who we grieve for until we are all reunited. As she says…..may we remember her love.

Unsure if we will be able to attend her services, but we hope and trust that they will be filled with only positive, and humorous stories of her life…she would have wanted it that way.

Dorothy A. Flores
Dorothy A. Flores
4 years ago

May the beautiful memories of your wife and mother, which you all sustain as a family, comfort each of you in your loss. I heard Darcie talk on two or three occasions at The Compassionate Friends national conferences– she was wonderful in helping me learn to live with the death of my three year-old daughter. Blessings to each of you.

Susanne Osolin
Susanne Osolin
4 years ago

Dearest Darcie. Words can not even begin to express how much I will miss you. Thank you so much for the work you did with Parents of Murdered Children. The world is a better place for having had you in it……”Thanks for the Little While.”

Don and Kathie Oberg
Don and Kathie Oberg
4 years ago

Kathie and I will greatly miss sharing thoughts at oh so many WSFDA functions and conventions. We always enjoyed her way of turning negative into positives with such zest

Kathie Kelly
Kathie Kelly
4 years ago

I am so blessed to have know Darcie. I met Darcie 15 years ago after I lost my only son Kevin Robert. Thanks to her love and hugs she gave me hope and taught me how I can survive the worst lost a parent can ever endure. Because of Darcie tons of bereaved families have hope and are surviving the loss of children. Thank you Tony, Allie, Darci, Greg and Deborah for sharing this amazing beautiful angel who was here on earth. My thoughts and prayers are with you all and I wish so much that I could be there Tuesday in person, but I am there in spirit and a candle will be lit. To Darcie I say Thanks for the little while!! You will be forever in our hearts. RIP Sweet Angel until we meet again. Love Kathie – Kevin’s Momma

Lis Olsen
Lis Olsen
4 years ago

I will be there to bid ALOHA to our Angel Darcie.

Carol & Louie Mikasobe
Carol & Louie Mikasobe
4 years ago

I pray for God’s loving grace over Darcie’s family in their time of need. Darcie gave the world an understanding of their grief and pain so they could turn it into love, smiles, laughter, hugs, and fond memories. She will be missed.

Gayle Brady
Gayle Brady
4 years ago

Darcie, you were an incredible, selfless woman who help so many of us in our grief journey. You will never be forgotten. My thoughts and prayers are with your family here on earth.

Thank you so much for being there for us.

Rick & Peg Dugan
Rick & Peg Dugan
4 years ago

We first met Darci as a TCF-Workshop presenter in 1985, in Buffalo, NY. A dynamic lady who let us know that humor is a necessary part of our lives and we mustn’t shut it out of our lives because our son, Larry, had died in 1982.. At later TCF National Conferences we kept running into Darci and came to relish her speaking style, lessons in living with and through our grief – delighting a MA State Trooper in Boston in 2005 by demonstrating a Darci story about TCF groups needing to touch knees, regardless of how they felt about how they were dressed (we got the trooper to take our picture with 8-knees touching. Thank you Darci, Tony and family for sharing and helping us to accept the love we felt – and hugging every chance we have – without reservations.

Tony, we’ve added you to our prayers with hope you are healing also.

Love and forever hugs – Rick & Peg Dugan

Deanna Phillips
Deanna Phillips
4 years ago

To the friends and loved ones of Mrs. Darci-

My prayers and thoughts are with you. I am not sure she could pick me out of a crowd, but she taught me how to breathe, when I didn’t think I would breathe again. She taught me how to get out of bed; how to walk again; and eventually how to laugh again. She taught me how to live a new normal for myself and daughter. Thank you for sharing her with me and the entire TAPS family. I am forever grateful and blessed to have known her.

Jill, Madeline & Alex LaMorie
Jill, Madeline & Alex LaMorie
4 years ago

The kids and I first met Darcie at the 2008 TAPS Philadelphia Survivor Seminar and Good Grief Camp. I got to spend the several years working with Darcie and being a person to whom she provide comfort and hope. Thank you Darcie for your laughter and love. You taught the kids and I how to laugh again. Your sudden loss will be profoundly felt to all those you touched and inspired. We are forever grateful that you touched our family and taught us how to live with loss and embrace love…..you left a deep impression on this world and all our hearts. May you Rest in Love and Laughter….

Heather Miller
Heather Miller
4 years ago

On behalf of your family in Minnesota we are sad to hear about the loss of Darcie. She was a wonderful person and will be missed by all.

Virginia Jones
Virginia Jones
4 years ago

Darci was one of those rare humans that are so unique, that they are a phenomenon of their own. She was the Darci phenomenon!

How was it possible to make grieving parents laugh – she did it.

How was it possible that such a tiny person could fit such a huge heart/spirit – Darci did it.

Because her spirit was so enormous, she will be with us for a long, long, time.

Thank you, Darci.

Bonnie & Richard Szczepaniak
Bonnie & Richard Szczepaniak
4 years ago

We are proud to say we knew Darcie. Darcie has taught us how to live after the deaths of our son and daughter. Her easy personality and her humor has taught us to never remember that our children lived. He message is that it is ok to grieve, but do not forget that they lived and to celebrate their lives. Now we plan to celebrate the fact that we knew Darcie. Darcie we miss you. Our life is poorer that you are gone, but we are richer because we knew you.

Adam Cooper
Adam Cooper
4 years ago

Darci will be greatly missed. She was a champion for the bereaved and her humor and wit and love for others defined her. I will always owe a great debt to her for what she taught me. My heart and prayers go out to Tony and the rest of the family during this time.

Deborah Jones
Deborah Jones
4 years ago

Heaven has a new angel. She will be watching over all her family and friends and all TAPS families. She will be deeply missed.

Betty Medley
Betty Medley
4 years ago

My thoughts and prayers are with you Tony and your family. Thank you for sharing your wife, mom and grandma with so many people. I was with her in December and all she could talk about was each of you and her love that she has for you. She taught me so much in working with grief counseling and I will miss her so much as I know so many people over the world will. Thank you for “the little while” I love you Darcie!

Martha Suarez
Martha Suarez
4 years ago

Darcy’s trademark humor intertwined with her messages of hope and love during our darkest moments is the legacy she left with us. What a remarkable woman. I hope I will meet her again, someday. Sending that same hope and love to her beloved family-it is because of your love and support of her work that she was able to be an angel to so many.

Rosemary Ravella
Rosemary Ravella
4 years ago

Did you ever know you were my hero?

You were the wind beneath my wings.

Fly, fly, so high again in the wind.

You are now touching the sky.

Thank God for you.

You were the wind beneath my wings.

You made me able to laugh again,after my only child,

Arthur III was killed , 9 years young in 1986.

You will be truly missed, but your words, wisdom and love that you gave to all of the bereaved will never be forgotten.

Kiss and hug my Arthur until I get there.

Nancy Weil
Nancy Weil
4 years ago

Darcie was my mentor and my friend. She has been there for me from the moment I began working in the field of grief. She continues to inspire me in the work that I do. Darcie inspired and touched so many people’s lives. If the mark of a life well lived is to know that you have made a difference, that you have loved and been loved and that the world is a bit dimmer in your absence, then Darcie lived incredibly well. You will be deeply missed, my friend.

Allen Klein
Allen Klein
4 years ago

Darcie had a large presence with a big heart and a big sense of humor. She will be greatly missed, especially in the death & dying arena.

Allen Klein, author of

Learning to Laugh When You Feel Like Crying

Tiffany Lewis
Tiffany Lewis
4 years ago

Darcie we all know your up there counseling our loved ones on missing us. Getting them ready. Rest gracefully!!!

Mary Gene & Robert  Ryan
Mary Gene & Robert Ryan
4 years ago

Tony, Allie, Greg and Darci our prayers, thoughts and hugs of love are with you. Bobby & I were very blessed to have Darcie, Tony and Allie as our neighbors in San Antonio when we were newlyweds (years before Grief Inc). Bobby at the time was in Medical School in New Orleans, LA so we were not together for two years. Darcie knew when I was going to be alone on a weekend or when Bobby was visiting. I will always remember Darcie inviting me over for dinner and allowing me to be part of the “Sims family” when Bobby was in. Allie loved to come visit me, but Darcie made sure she knew not to visit our house when the garage door was closed. Darcie was such a great friend. Know Darcie will always be with you — feel her love each day.

Darlene Dusza
Darlene Dusza
4 years ago

You will forever be remembered by those who you have helped through the grief and loss of a child and many others who you have inspired. Rest In Peace Darci.

Christina Bindi
Christina Bindi
4 years ago

The Angels of us all, wow what a greeting in Heaven. Thanks for the little while.

Monte & Tammy Wolf
Monte & Tammy Wolf
4 years ago

We don’t know why, but we know you lie in the sky with the big man who has a plan. I know to well that no words will take away the pain so let me just say that we are all wrapping our arms around you as a whole & holding your family like Darcie held so many when we needed her. Peace & love from the Wolfs!!

The Michael Flagg Family
The Michael Flagg Family
4 years ago

Our love and prayers go out to you all. We love you Darcie! Thank you for your tremendous support at our weakest moments. xoxo

Sylvia Norman Windham
Sylvia Norman Windham
4 years ago

I am so grateful that God brought Darci into my life. I met her at TAPS in Washington, DC in 2004. It had been the first time since my husband, CDR Michael Norman, passed in 2002, that she gave me the ability to smile, laugh and cry all at the same time. Darci thank you for sharing your love with all military widows and families. We will always love you!

Beverly Ruane
Beverly Ruane
4 years ago

I first met Darcie and heard her speak at the 2011 Gathering in Reston, Va. Darcie held my attention as spoke about her experience. Her words of comfort, encouragement and humor told us that anyone can get through their grief. You will be truly missed, Darcie. Thank you. My condolences to all the family and friends. You will be in my prayers. Praying God will comfort you.

Lori Stahl
Lori Stahl
4 years ago

Darcie was an incredible teacher. I will be forever grateful to all the Darcie gave me not only in the field of grief, but in friendship and support!

Joyce Calland
Joyce Calland
4 years ago

I did not know Darcie personally, but heard her speak at a Compassionate Friends regional conference in Frankfort, KY. She was wonderfully insightful and helped me to take a different look at my own grief. She was able to make me laugh and that was no easy thing at that time in my life. I will forever treasure the help she gave to me.

Ann Walsh
Ann Walsh
4 years ago

Darcie was a wonderful speaker, supporter, mentor, and above all, friend. She touched many peoples’ lives in so many ways. Thoughts of her bring smiles to our faces. She will be missed and always loved.

Marty and Renda Weaver
Marty and Renda Weaver
4 years ago

Darcie was an inspiration to us all! She will be missed and thought of often! I was always amazed of how she could remember your name, when you met her for the second time. She taught us, and many others, that the beauty of our children was the memories they left us with. My wife and I truly believe that Darcie was a friend to us! Our prayers and thoughts go out to you Tony and the family during this tragic and yet unique time. Thanks for the years of support! The toilet paper roll is being well used!

Cindy Lanfry
Cindy Lanfry
4 years ago

My heart is heavy for Darcie’s family as well as her other families that she meant so much to and gave so willingly of her time to help. May the warm memories of Darcie bring comfort and strength to all who loved her and may we carry on her incredible journey in the name of love to continue to help all who are in pain over the loss of a loved one! May she fly high with the angels as she has joined “Big A” and I pray that we all will Remember the Love!

Susan Rhodes
Susan Rhodes
4 years ago

Dear Tony and Family,

Words cannot express the emotions we all feel right now, Darcie was so many things to so many people. You are all in my heart and my prayers, thank you so much for sharing her with all of us. Hugs, love and blessings to you all. RIP Darcie,

Till we meet again…

Donna and Ralph Goodrich
Donna and Ralph Goodrich
4 years ago

We met Darcie at our forst National Conference and what a difference she made in our grief journey. Over the years, she became like family to us and we used her stories over and over agIn at our Chapter meetings. She is and alwYs be the face of TCF. You are all I. Our thoughts and prayers are with you as you grieve for your sweet Wife, Mother and Grandmother.