Barbara Viele Fithian
December 30, 1928 - January 2, 2013
Obituary
Barbara Viele FITHIAN (1928-2013)
When BARBARA VIELE FITHIAN took her final 2 breaths on 01/02/2013, an amazing treasure left our world. She died in the arms of Robert A (Bob) Fithian 3 days after her her 84th birthday & in the 62nd year of their marriage. She was in hospice care at home following a disabling stroke 11/01/2011. Bob gently eased her to her final rest after a week of dreadful seizures. Sons Glenn (Lisa), Brett, & daughter Claire Sands (Dan) were at his side helping Bob with Barbara’s long, hard struggle. He is also grateful to loving caregivers Ronda & Connie & to the wonderfully supportive Group Health Hospice team.
The other surviving sons—Scott (Beth), Bruce (Carla), & Craig (Lia)—have been in continual touch to support Bob’s care, as has sister-in-law Kitty Viele. Barbara is also survived by 11 cherished grandchildren & many nieces & nephews.
Barbara was imbued with optimistic confidence, profound intellect, & overwhelming determination to take on anything her life served up. She was the 4th child & sole survivor of the respected Seward Park family of (Wm) Arthur & Gladys Viele. She reveled in her early life as an urban farm girl. At age 12, she drove a rickety car to the barn where she milked the cow, cared for other livestock, rode her ponies, & helped her doting dad with fences & other chores on vacant public land where Rainier Beach High School now stands! She entered Franklin High School following her 3 respected older siblings. She earned her own respect as a mentor, exemplary leader, & trusted friend at Franklin & graduated with honors in 1946.
Barbara continued active school affairs at the University of Washington. In addition to campus activities, she joined Chi Omega in the still close-knit 1947 pledge class. At Newman Club, she began her search for a religious home fit for her profound spiritual beliefs that continued to evolve throughout her lifetime of learning. In 1950, she graduated in early childhood education—a discipline she would put to good use in her own future growing family.
In 1951, after mutual attraction, then a year of courtship dealing mostly with the real challenges to a committed union at that time, Barbara & Bob did marry the month before he entered the UW Medical School. Barbara used her talents & determination to support Bob through 5 years of meager income. She took any available job at any time & any pay. She scrimped, saved, & came up with innovative, affordable living arrangements. And all while pregnant with Scott—then Bruce—then Glenn & delivering them using natural childbirth flawlessly!
In 1956, Bob was drafted into the US Army Medical Corps & sent to Germany. Barbara, with 3 small, active boys, followed him by slow boat across the North Atlantic in December! They arrived exhausted & seasick, but settled into a 2 year European vacation, paid for the first time by someone other than Barbara. Barbara, Bob, Bruce, & Glenn traveled in their Ford station wagon from Vienna to Naples to East Berlin to Paris to Brussels to Amsterdam to London to Edinburgh for exciting & sometimes perilous adventures. They all returned home in 1958, this time in the luxury of an airliner, & this time with a German boxer & Craig, son #4 born at home in Bad Kreutznach!
The family moved to Normandy Park in 1959 where Bob started his solo general practice on a shoestring & an auto loan on the Ford station wagon. Though times were depressed, the practice slowly grew, needing only occasional help from Barbara. She was able to enter local social, religious, medical, political, & charitable groups as the optimistic worker, trusted adviser, kind friend, & admired leader that she has always been. At the same time, she had #5 son, Brett, at home in 1959. She continued to do everything possible to be the best Mom 5 boys could have.
After 5 in a row, Barbara & Bob decided to stop having any more boys! They used the next 5 years trying to keep up with all the boys’ busy lives. Of course, Barbara also pursued her deft organizational activities, like hosting a kickoff house party to launch Patty Murray’s first US Senate run, engaging the Hungry Mind, gently prodding the League of Women Voters to be more assertive, joining in the AAUW advocacy for young women, supporting the Seattle Art Museum Guild, actively campaigning as a Democratic precinct committee officer, to name a few.
Then, in 1964 amidst all the above tumult & with no planning or explanation, Barbara was pregnant again for the 6th time! But instead of a 6th brother, miraculously Claire Louise Fithian was born in September adding beauty & a whole new dimension to the family, which continued to thrive, learn, & mature!
But in 1977 during a major surgical operation, Barbara had a catastrophic rise in blood pressure from a drug infused to aid the operation. She never regained consciousness post-op. When Bob & 12 year old Claire visited that evening, Claire discovered that Barbara had a total right sided paralysis & was unconscious not from anesthesia but from a massive brain hemorrhage. This tragedy affected the rest of Barbara’s life & Claire’s, too.
Miraculously, Barbara regained consciousness after a week, during which she had survived a massive UGI hemorrhage, a Gram negative septicemia, & a complicated post-operative course. Even more miraculously, she diligently completed a 1month rehab hospitalization able to walk & eager to get a modified car to drive! And another month later, she graduated from Seattle U with the masters degree in counseling that she had started before her ill-fated surgery. She never regained useful function of her dominant right hand & arm, but she did learn to write & eat with her left hand. And with her remarkable determination she learned to do everything she had done before losing most of the left side of her brain & half of the right side of her body! She continued her superior level of performance until she fell in 2008 sustaining a subdural hematoma with progressive loss of mobility.
She continued participating in her favorite causes at a reduced pace in a wheelchair until the 11/01/2011 vascular stroke that took away the language functions she had always used so well to create wonderful relationships.
The family has scheduled a celebration of Barbara’s amazing life on Saturday, 03/16/2013
3:00 pm at The Cove in Normandy Park,
1500 SW Shorebrook Drive,
Normandy Park, WA
There will be a private gathering to commit her ashes & memory to the John & Anna Viele family burial plot at Lakeview Cemetery on Monday, 03/18/2013 at 09:00 am.
Of the hundreds of good causes that Barbara supported, she would have especially wanted you to consider the following in her honor:
Saltwater UU Church www.saltwaterchurch.org
American Association of University Women (AAUW) www.aauw.org
Health Care for All-Washington (HFCA-WA) Education Fund www.healthcareforallwa.org/donate
Children’s Alliance www.childrensalliance.org
Project Vote Smart www.votesmart.org
Highline Medical Center Foundation, Stephen A. Bunch Bldg Fund www.highlinemedicalcenter.org
Now Barb can join Becky in the sweet harmony they used to
create @ 7914.
Glenn,
I’m sorry for you loss. What an amazing mother you all had. I remember how active and involved she was during our years in Normandy Park. My thoughts are with your family.
Ellyn
Barbara You will always be remembered by a large group of “LiveWires” at the Seattle YWCA where you were our leader for some time back in the early 1950’s. You were a good leader for many of us during those younger days when we were “live wires”. My thoughts to your loving husband and children. Don
This is a beautiful account of a life fully lived under somewhat trying circumstances. Both Barbara and Bob are such an inspiration to us all.
Wen you love a friend, as we love Scot Fithian, it deepens our hearts to know even more about his mother Barbara, and the role model of loyalty, determination and strength she was. We so admire these qualities in Scott, and now understand how much of this grounded fortitude comes from his parents.
We are wishing the entire Fithian family healing and the gift of memory as you celebrate the life of Barbara.
Bob,
We are sorry to learn of your tragic loss. Please accept our sincere condolences.
What an amazing gift of love. I have never known The Fithian Family, but in reading this, I know there was love.
What a gift to have that many years of marriage. Blessings to you Bob. May your memories comfort you.
I did not know Barbaara very well, but my daughter Amy and Claire were great friends from grade school to now.
RIP Barbara!!
My condolences to the Fithian family for their loss of a wonderful mother and to the community for the loss of an amazing woman. My thoughts are with you.
Memories of our early motherhood times, sharing new- mother trials,talking about our student husbands we became close friends. We discussed Catholocislm and new views on parenting. Life and careers took us in different directions,but I will never forget those years.
My love to you,Bob, and your family.
As I reed about Barbara’s life I can only say WOW!!! What an incredible lady!!!
I met Barb when I was 22 some 37 years ago. I was dazzled by how trustworthy she was to consult with about life and how fasicatingly competent she was at running her household. I saw her as a mentor and though I haven’t seen her for many years, to this day I think “How would Barb do it?”
Salute to a woman who touched the world with her love, her strength, and her wisdom