Charles Patrick Kain

for my dear friend and long time co-worker

Charles Patrick Kain

1927 July 29 – 2006 March 4

He was born in Elgin, North Dakota on July 29th 1927. His parents Francis Edward Kain and Florence Mayberry named him “Charles Patrick Kain,” his family called him “Pat,” his wife called him “Chuck,” his golfing buddies called him “Charlie,” and his children called him “Dad.”

He grew up in a very large family and is survived by his sister Kathleen nicknamed Kitty, his brothers Joseph nicknamed Mike, John nicknamed Jack, and Jerome nicknamed Jerry. He is also survived by his wife Phyllis, his daughters Roxanne and Denise, his sons Patrick and Randall, and thirteen grandchildren and six great grandchildren.

After moving out to Washington State with his dad, mom and younger siblings, his dad died when Charles was sixteen. Eventually, he quit school so that he could help his mom financially. At seventeen, he joined the “merchant marines” during World War Two, sending money home to his mom. After the war ended, he started working at St. Regis Paper Company, where he eventually met and married Phyllis Pease on November 12th 1949. After working at St. Regis for seventeen years, he left for health reasons and began working for Boeing until he retired in the early 1990’s after over 25 years as a “coil winder” who tested parts that engineers had designed.

Pat or Chuck or Dad or Charlie, whatever name one might call him, loved sports, especially golf, but more than that he loved people. During a round of golf, he would know each shot that every other member of his foursome or fivesome made, so he kept all of us honest. When the eighteen holes were over he would sit with his friends, probably recalling golf shots, other issues, and funny stories. When he got home, his family might hear similar recollections unless a game was on television. He always seemed to sprinkle puns into any conversation. He was fun.

He loved going to the annual 4th of July family picnics and probably wished there would have been more family “get-togethers.” You could see him “light up” when he was around his brothers and sisters. However, he seemed to be able to have a conversation with just about anybody because he loved people.

I am sure that each of us would have different stories to tell about him. For me, his second son, I remember his sense of humor, so I tend to “carry on” the tradition of puns, but cannot remember or tell stories as well as he could; but my brother, Rick, seems to have “picked up” my dad’s love for sharing funny stories. I do remember one joke, though, that he told at his retirement banquet. He was actually quoting George Burns about old age:

First, you begin forgetting names, then, you forget faces. Next, you forget to pull your zipper up. Finally, you forget to pull your zipper down. George Burns

As I experienced my dad, he did not seem to care about money. He would never try to take advantage of anyone when he sold something; he never tried to get the “better deal” in a trade. Many times, I saw him stop what he was doing and try to help someone who really needed help. He never sought any kind of compensation for helping a stranger, and did not even want a thank-you, but he might encourage the stranger to “pass it on” to some other stranger.

I remember when he helped my sisters and brother and me with our homework, and I remember when we used to ask him to critique our bowling and golfing. He was a good tutor. I think that is why I have always enjoyed tutoring people. His “one-on-one” help meant a lot to me, and I always hope while I am tutoring or counseling people that it blesses them the way it blessed me.

He told me once that a person is fortunate if he can count his true friends on both hands, which inspired me to look for true friends and be a true friend. Anyone would have been fortunate to be Charles Patrick Kain’s friend.

2006March03 10:55PM 2255

THE LAST EVENING WITH MY DAD

On the phone earlier, I had explained to Jeannine my ex-wife what I wanted to do as far as sharing the gospel with my dad. Jeannine a critical care registered nurse and others gave suggestions from their perspectives, and I listened. However, I was not sure how God would lead me that evening.

At about 7:30 PM, when we Jeannine, Benjamin, Elysha and I first got to the hospital, we were worried about a blood pressure issue because of the infection/pneumonia mersis or whatever it was being called. However, my dad’s condition had been stabilized. My brother Rick and sister-in-law Barb happened to come at the same time.

We all discussed dad’s condition and what his ability to be responsive might be since he was being sedated. He was not sedated while we were visiting, but I was not really thinking about this at the time. After we were there for quite awhile, getting no response from talking to him or squeezing his swollen hands, Jeannine got right in his face with a loud voice and said that we would be leaving soon and, then, he opened his eyes just for a second, but could not even maintain keeping his eyes opened.

Then I began to think that “sharing the gospel” was not going to happen. I just stood there thinking about how crowded the room was, and how I did not know how to go about this, and how I might try it the next day somehow. Then, Jeannine said something like:

“Randy, you were thinking …”

And it was like a shock out of my “THINKING.” I was embarrassed as if awakened from a sleep. Jeannine continued:

“…that you wanted to say something to your dad. Could we all leave the room and allow Randy to have some time alone with his dad?”

Benjamin wanted to stay so I let him stay. I was embarrassed, but grateful that Jeannine was creating the environment for this to happen. Even having Benjamin there, flooded me with emotions. As a result of my emotions, I had trouble speaking to my dad, so, I pulled out the piece of paper I had printed out to assist me in sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with my dad. I mostly read from the paper, trying to hold my emotions together in hope that I would be heard clearly. I began to remember that Jeannine had said something about that fact that he could probably hear us since the sedative was wearing off during the time that we were visiting. The letter said:

Dad,

This is Randy, your son. We have been having Jeannine help us understand your condition and care. You are on a ventilator now and are receiving food, water and medicine through a feeding tube, which at this point seems to be helping you improve.

We are missing your puns and other jokes. Other people recognize that my children and I have the same strange sense of humor as you do.

I am glad to see you are improving, but I want to make sure about your relationship with God. Since every member of the human race sins, each one of us is dependent upon Jesus Christ for paying for our sins on the Cross. Jesus is also the path or way to God, the Father, and the path or way to eternal life. Anyone at anytime can choose to receive that salvation from God through Jesus. However, even after a person chooses Jesus as Savior, he or she continues to sin, but the choice of Jesus is enough to humbly open the door to eternal life for any person. If you have not accepted Christ yet, you can do it right now.

Jesus had a thief hanging on each side of Him when He hung on The Cross for us. One of the thieves was able to choose Jesus as Savior as late as at the end of his life, so anyone can choose Jesus no matter when he or she decides.

Just in case you have not accepted Jesus Christ yet, I am going to pray a prayer right now, and you can accept it as your prayer:

Father in Heaven, I accept Jesus as my only way to you. I believe Jesus died for my sins, and was buried, but rose again so that I could follow Jesus into eternal life. Thank-you, God, for saving me through your Son, Jesus. I know that this prayer is enough to receive your salvation. Amen.

I hope you have received Jesus as Savior in the past or now or will sometime in your life.

Love, Randy

As I finished what I wanted to say about salvation and telling him that I loved him, I stood there for a second or two more holding his hand. Then, I began to move my hand away; then, suddenly and shockingly to me, he gave my hand a quick squeeze. It was like an electric shock to my hand; it scared me.

I began to walk away; then, I went back and held his hand again squeezing it again to see if I could get any response. No more response.

I, then, told Benjamin to go tell the others that I was finished talking to “Grandpa Chuck.” Benjamin left, and I began to speak to my dad telling him that I had hoped that he had heard me. However, I felt I was just stumbling over my words. I did not say much more, but it felt good to say that I loved him, and to feel that I had shared the basic gospel.

When I told Jeannine about it, she felt that the squeeze was probably a confirmation that my dad had heard me. I was not sure what my dad had done about the gospel in the past or at that time, but my prayer was, and will continue to be, that he did hear and receive the Gospel message that if he chose Jesus as Savior, it was enough to save him. Suddenly, for me, it was not about theology; it was about relying on Jesus for salvation regardless of our sinfulness or unawareness of theological principles.

It was odd, but it seemed as if I had not understood the simple Gospel until the other morning when God impressed upon my mind the salvation of the thief on the cross, while at the same time, God was letting me know that I was every bit as much a sinner as the thief, regardless of what I thought I understood about theology. I am even wondering, as I finish this exposition now if this will lead to discussions with my family about salvation.

Charlie was a fellow co-worker, who taught me a lot about coil winding. I still remember his retirement party at shooters. he will be greatly missed. My sympathy is with his family.