Fay Marie Bickmore
February 1, 1941 - February 6, 2017
Obituary
Fay Marie Townsend Bickmore was born to Gay Hazel Marie Stewardson and John Thomas Clarence Townsend on February 1, 1941 in Gilbert Plaines, Manitoba, Canada. She grew up in Vancouver, British Columbia with 4 younger siblings joining the family–Barbara, Marilyn, Russell and Margaret. She was known as the girl with red curly hair, who could be covered head to toe in dirt as long as her hands were clean; a trait she kept all her life. (Along with her food never, ever touching–which her “cheeky brat” children and grandchildren liked to tease her about.)
While on her lunch break in May of 1961 she flagged down two American sailors driving by the diner she frequented (if she told the story she was wiping the window but since she didn’t work there we find that story fishy and go with dad’s memory.) Dad told his buddy to stop and they went in up to the counter and ordered a cup of coffee. The waitress said the two gals by the window just placed their order and they were on it. Thus, started a whirlwind courtship. Dad had told her he was 21, she had just turned 20, so she was a bit surprised to discover when they got their marriage license that he had turned 20 on his birthday, not 22. Her parents were initially not pleased that she was interested in a “damn Yank” but when dad would show up on Sunday’s in his dress blues to mow the lawn with a push mower, they figured he was a good guy. They married on October 7, 1961 in Vancouver, British Columbia.
They made their first home in Puyallup after borrowing a fellow Navy buddies car to get them there. A couple days later Dad and his buddy went deer hunting. Mom was so shocked that he would leave her in a brand-new country days after being married. He had previously told her his plans but she didn’t believe he would actually do it. Obviously, things worked out between them.
They were blessed with their first son, Clay Patrick, in August of 1962. 16 months later their second son, Clint Ronald, was born in December 1963. They then were transferred to Alaska where they had to supplement their grocery budget with hunting and fishing since ships only came once a month with supplies.
Next, they were transferred to Massachusetts where their daughter, Kristine Rae, was born in October 1966. They then moved to Virginia where Dad was in Officers Candidate School where she was blessed with strangers when she was lost with 3 small children. Their next move was cross country to California. It was late spring so they figured they would camp while driving across country with 3 children, the youngest being about 7 months. The trip provided many memories but not the type they expected with them running into tornados, riots in the streets and snow when they packed light weight clothing. They met many kind strangers along the way who helped them with food and supplies to ease their burdens as they travelled.
After California they were transferred to Ogden, Utah where dad grew up so Mom would have support while Dad was sent out during the Vietnam War. Good friends and family helped Fay raise her young family while he was serving.
After returning from Vietnam, Dad left the Navy and they moved to Federal Way, Washington where they remain today, thinking when they bought the house they’d be lucky to be there for 3 years since he was now in the US Coast Guard.
Mom immediately starting volunteering in the Scout programs and with the school system. She eventually went to work full-time but continued to volunteer. She started at Warren Office Supply in Auburn, Washington doing accounting. She eventually went to work for West Coast Grocery which later became SuperValu in the accounting department. She would help arrange work parties and blood drives, even bringing her granddaughter down to teach them all the Macarena. She also worked part-time with Weight Watchers and loved supporting people while they worked towards their goals.
Mom loved Elvis Presley and everything about him.
Dad introduced her to baseball and the Seattle Mariners which she loved to watch. She spent last weekend at Mariner Fan Fest and had brought a large picture of Edgar Martinez with a sign on it asking him to sign it for her birthday, which he did, and she was so excited about that. And excited for the new season, always hopeful this year she would see them win the Series.
She also faithfully followed and cheered the Seattle Seahawks and University of Washington Huskies. Her birthday party typically was celebrated during half-time of the Super Bowl and the year the Seahawks won was extra fun, the next year they lost and it was such a contrast. She was all in with her cheering, sure if she cheered loud enough they could hear her through the television.
She continued volunteering even after retiring from employment. She was active with the Clothing and Textiles Association, helping people learn to sew, and sewing items for the hospitals and other organizations that needed help. She loved to sew, create works of art in greeting cards which she would send to family and friends whenever she thought they needed a pick me up.
She had plans in the next couple weeks to meet up with friends for lunch, well several groups of friends for multiple parties, to celebrate her 76th birthday which just passed even though she would be using a “kneely walker” since she was scheduled for foot surgery this week.
Her greatest love though was her family. Clay and his wife Carrie, Clint and his wife Margaret, Kristine and her husband Gary McKell. But even more than her children she loved being with her grandchildren–Jessica, her “favorite” (and only) granddaughter, Justin and Jared McKell; Cade, Torin and Rand Bickmore. She then gained a new title of Mimi that Jessica gave to her mom but she passed on to Fay.
And then Jessica married Randall Evans and Justin married Jennifer and her joy increased even more as the family expanded. And then the great grandchildren came along and her joy could not be contained–Elizabeth and Matthew McKell and Amelia and Sawyer Evans. As her grandchildren said they thought they’d seen joy and love from Mimi until they saw her excitement with the great grandchildren. In fact, she spent her last day on the floor playing puzzles and tea party with Elizabeth and Matthew and FaceTime chatting with Amelia and Sawyer surrounded by several family members watching the Super Bowl together.
But even more than her posterity which numbers 6 children, 8 grandchildren, and 4 great grandchildren is her love for our Dad, Larry. They were married over 55 years. They enjoyed many many sweet memories together as they worked together as a young military couple, supported each other through the highs and lows, danced all day the day Elvis died and took a dream cross country train trip and much, much more.
Mom passed away peacefully in bed while reading a book on Monday, February 6, 2017. She put a lot of life in those years–a life well lived, full of friends, family and joy.
We invite you to come celebrate her life. If you would like to see her one last time, a viewing will be held at the mortuary, as well as a room to visit on Friday. Saturday will be a short funeral service followed by a pot luck where we invite all to come, to join us in sharing memories and stories and to remember the sweet generous lady she was. Don’t worry if you can’t bring anything to the potluck, just come and share and remember her. Burial will be later as determined by the military facility (she would get a chuckle out of the fact they don’t work on weekends.)
Please come dressed brightly as mom loved reds and bright colors. Or as my other brother said in your favorite local team gear. Whatever helps you to remember our mom, our Mimi and beloved wife.
What a beautiful obituary. It truly reflects who Fay was and her joy for life. I’m pretty sure not too many minutes of her life passed by without a smile or laughter. She touched so many people.
The statement about getting dirty reminded me of the time we rode the ski lift to the top at Snow Basin and decided to hike back down after lunch. Her backside showed evidence of all her slides but she laughed the whole way. She will be missed!
Fay was a treasured sewing friend with our Clothing & Textile Advisor Group. She brought joy, laughter and sunshine to every meeting. My favorite memory is her Tea Party for several of sewing friends, complete with dainty goodies and, of course, tea, and lots of laughter and friendship. She will be dearly missed.
Mimi will always hold a special place in my heart. What was most apparent about her was how much she treasured her family. And it was clear that her family was in no way limited to those she was related to. Her arms, home, and heart were always open to others. She was a treasure and will be forever remembered and missed. She brought sunshine and brightness with her wherever she went, and we are all better for having known her.
Larry and family,
When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is the friend who cares.
I believe this best describes my dear friend Fay. I was blessed to have had her in my life for 34 years.
Love, Diana
I have many fond memories of Fay while our young husbands were in the Navy. She was a great friend and we helped each other during the times our husbands were out to sea and us raising our babies. She was a very special person during this part of my life where I had to learn alot about the realty of being a wife and a mother. I always loved her Canadian euphemisms….”ladder” meant you had a run in your nylons and “eh”. And she was a great cook! I will miss you my friend, rest in peace.
Dear Larry and family,
This woman, this beautiful and giving woman was my friend for so long. I didn’t realize how many years until now when I started to count. 34 years. You don’t easily summarize a 34 year friendship in a few words. Fay was spirited, always spoke her mind, which I loved. So many times we shared laughing, crying, frustration about work or politics or just simply troubled, tearful and happy times. We especially got to share love of family. We had each other to lean on and that was the most special part of being Fay’s friend. My heart aches with her passing too soon and I miss her dearly. I just know that Heaven is happier with her in it! Love you, Fay, my dear, dear “friend.”
Larry & Family,
Fay was such a fun part of our Saturday Tacoma Weight Watchers team. We enjoyed her sense of humor and she was so wonderful and caring to our members.
Ginny and I have enjoyed our lunch dates with Fay–catching up and of course looking at cute pictures of her great-grandchildren!
She is a true friend, and I miss her.
Cathie Vance
Dear Larry and family,
This woman, hired me to work with her and quickly became my work mother. She was there when I gave birth the my son. She was a very giving woman. And I count. myself lucky to have had her in my live for 23 years. Fay was spirited, always spoke her mind, which I loved. So many times we shared laughing, crying, frustration and love of family. My heart aches with her passing too soon and I miss her dearly. I just know that Heaven is happier with her in it! Love you, say Hi to Elvis.
I loved reading about your grandmother Justin. I remember hearing stories of her when we both were living in Idaho. Sending you love, support, and friendship. I sometimes struggle with finding the right words to say in times like these, but most often I think all that needs to be said is, “We care about you guys.” Thinking of you all and praying for your comfort.
Larry and family, You all so graciously welcomed me and my boys into your family with open arms. We will be forever grateful. We have so many amazing memories of our Mariner buddy, and the boys’ “Auntie Fay”. We all wish we had been able to meet her for lunch last week, as planned. My boys are heartbroken, as am I. Love to you all!
Fay I will miss your wit and honesty. You were wise beyond your years. Blessed with the nicest family..
Kristine and family;
I’m so sorry for your loss. From her obituary, I can tell she was loved very much. May God grant you peace during this time.
And to paraphrase a saying “Faye has left the building”.
Rest in peace our dear friend we are going to miss your smiling face.
So very sorry for your loss. She has a wonderful family, and what an interesting life!
I was privileged to know her through Weight Watchers. She will be greatly missed.