John Martin Pince
September 28, 1944 - June 11, 2020
Obituary
A life well-lived
John Martin “Pete” Pince, first-born son to Vivian and John Pince on Sept. 28, 1944 in Duluth, MN, has succumbed to numerous long-term ailments, exacerbated by having contracted the Covid-19 virus despite all our efforts against it. At the age of 75, he fell asleep one last time and gently passed away on the evening of Thursday, June 11, 2020.
Pete is survived by his wife, Gail Elaine, three children, John Harvey “Johnny”, Lisette Marie “Sette”, Merissa Elaine “Missy”, and a step-son, Charles David, along with 8 grandchildren (oldest to youngest), Christopher Robyn, Chloé Marie, Skyler Ryan, Ruby Lynn, Aubrey Louise, Cailyn Mae, Reeghan Elaine, and Conner Jackson. Pete is also survived by his little sister, Martha “Tudie”, and all the extended family there. He is predeceased by his first wife and mother to his three children, Caryl Louise Pince Smith.
Pete will not only be greatly missed by the above and all his extended family, but also by an entire community he served and influenced as a Math Teacher and Head of the Math Department at Lakota Jr. High School. He was a favorite teacher for many during his long career, with a delightful sense of humor as his guide. What sheer joy it has been for me through these past 23 years to feel like a celebrity’s wife. Everywhere we’d go, it was such a pleasure to have young kids shout from across the room, and his long-ago older students, who felt the need to greet and chat with “Mr. Pince, Mr. Pince!,” their “all-time, bestest, favorite-ever teacher.” “I hated Math until you came along, Mr. Pince.” Students loved telling me their stories of what it was like to be a student of his. Such fun being in his classroom. And such an accomplishment, having your students love and admire you, as he taught them how to understand, and even LIKE, their Math challenges. He loved teaching. And he treasured his students.
He did mention to me at the hospital = My only regret in this life is that I never did write that book: How To Be A Crummy Little Kid and Survive.
Pete was a wholly devoted and loving husband twice in his life, having remarried after the passing of his first wife, Caryl, who absolutely insisted on her deathbed that he remarry as soon as possible, as she knew he wouldn’t do well being alone. Promises made. Confidences kept. (There’s so much more to this story.) It is possible to love fiercely more than once in this lifetime. Pete was tenderly loving and fanatically devoted as a husband. No woman could feel more blessed than I do, having been “under his care” these past 23 years.
Yes, even in these later years, having to watch the decline in capacities, the ravages of insulin-dependent diabetes, of being a heart attack victim, (likely a result of being diabetic), his ice-fall accident wherein he had to be reconstructed, and during the healing process from that accident, being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, also likely brought on by long-term use of medications for all the above, … although I was his caregiver, he always made me feel safe, indulged, loved and adored, and actually the one who was being cared for.
I know people are curious, and this kind of falls under the heading of “Do the Right Thing and Inform the People,” so there are many of your questions I will answer here, … so on we go with more paragraphs to read.
~ We don’t know how we contracted the COVID-19 virus. We diligently engaged in all the precautions. But even with precautions firmly adhered to, I developed a fever on Memorial Day. Not 12 hours later, Pete reported to me that he felt a fever coming on too. So there we both were, hunkering down together, my duties still in place, ever the caregiver here. No other symptoms; just that annoying low grade fever. We felt fortunate. Only one symptom? My fever left me on the 3rd day with it. Pete’s relentlessly hung on. We were denied the chance to test for COVID until he’d suffered this fever a full week. He was diagnosed at this point with pneumonia. But again, a remarkably mild case of it. Then an additional 3 days passed before we had his results. We were further advised that, since we were such an easy-going case, it would be best to keep it at home. “This flu needs to run its course.”
I cared for Pete with his doctor’s guidance via Zoom for many days more, until he wanted to quit eating altogether and just became too weak, needing hospitalization. (Only then would they take him in anyway.) The day I delivered him to the ER, I got to stay with him for several hours. He napped a lot and we chatted and laughed a great deal during this time, our last moments together. I was denied any further visitation once he was given his own room. He passed there all alone. Well, not totally alone, I guess. I was told that a nurse held his hand and talked to him during his final hour.
Most of his children and some grandchildren were present for his final Zoom session. He was non-responsive for it, fading before our eyes, but we could all tell he was hearing us.
Meanwhile, … our circumstances had us sequestered, since the top of February actually, long before the rest of you, doing all that could be done, and we both were on a hyped up regimen of antioxidants, anti-inflammatories and other holistic and herbal therapies. (So many pills.) We were as equipped as one can possibly be for fighting any virus that could possibly find us, while also not interfering with his endocrinologist’s, cardiologist’s and neurologist’s meds. The doctors believe this is why he was such a mild, one-symptom; one could say, even comfortable case of COVID. I am consoled by the fact that he did not suffer much with this dreadful killer virus as it consumed him. I am further comforted and appreciative that he passed in his sleep; just faded away peacefully. And there is solace with the realization that he was further spared from the ravages of his advancing Alzheimer’s. We were both scared of what we knew our lives were becoming as the years with that incapacitating disease progressed. I am thankful he was spared of that inevitable End Stage Alzheimer’s.
So everyone knows, I have been tested and found to indeed have had COVID as well, and now carry the antibodies for it. Enough time has gone by since I last saw the PeteyBear, so I’m told that I am safe now (But we’ll have to wait and see what new horrors this thing might evolve into and have in store for us in the future, won’t we.)
This is written as a matter of information, our story and ours alone, and not in any way meant to be any form of advisement. It should answer the questions that are coming in, and help people to understand more. That is my hope.
There is only one happiness in this life ~ To love and to be loved.
So Love Fiercely!! Dream and love without limits or fears. Never hold back. Never hesitate. Only happiness awaits you. Seek the love you desire and need in all your relations, and it will find you.
Truly, that was PeteyBear’s message to the world as he lived it. I think it’s a sound philosophy to live by, so he’s passing it on to you now.
For the Love of It,
Gail Harvey
Grieving Widow over One Terrific Guy