Raymond H. Clarke, Jr.

Ray took events and people at face value, he never looked for a hidden agenda. He was often disappointed. He continued to speak his mind and thought he drove people away. If only the nice things people have said now, had been said to him, not about him, he would have been surprised and flattered.

Ray had friends from every corner of life, friends from his high school years and friends of Emily’s age.

His interests were varied, cars & marijuana of course, wood working, jewelry making, religions of all sorts, and what ever Em & I were doing to name a few.

I’d be interested in know more of what others remember about Ray. For now, kick back and enjoy a little, Miles Davis, Jimi Hendrix, Richie Havens, Ravi Shankar, Crosby Stills Nash & Young, even Pavarotti .

Sending thoughts of love and support to you and Emily. Find comfort in your good memories and your love for each other.

The world will miss you, Ray Clarke. A smile that lights up your whole face, a deep love for your family. You even smiled through your years of pain. Always friendly and interested in others. Always the mellow “Cool Dude”. We will all miss you.

Heidi and Emily, I wish you peace and hope you find comfort in the knowledge of Ray’s enduring love for you.

Sharon Campbell

Heidi and Emily

It was always great when Ray could make it to any of our gatherings. He did always have the smile that made you remember him, even though he was a man of few words he made an impact on people. He will be missed.

I want to enter some of the messages received in the short time between Ray’s diagnosis and his death. I read them often and want to share some of them :

Per Bernstein : It was so fun staying at your house as kids. Uncle Ray always had games and fun things for a kid to discover for the first time whether it was Atari or a motorcycle or a waterbed or a cool car or a rope swing or an old viewfinder (or your mean cat that was fun to snuggle with in your sleeping bag) but it was always an adventure. He was so cool because he seemed like one of us, a big kid, smiling and making sure we were having fun. He was a big influence on me as far as what being a “man” was supposed to be–that you could be grown but still have fun. Getting older didn’t seem so scary when you saw how Uncle Ray was living. I’ll miss him.

Nils Bernstein : Ray had a massive impact on me; Per said recently that he was our masculine role model and I think in a lot of ways that’s true. I feel like I spent my young life in rebellion (in a good way), but Ray gave a context to it, that you could live ‘anti-authoritarian’ but be a father and husband and ‘normal’ person. I think about him so often. Please let me know if there’s anything I can do. Love Nils

I am so very saddened to hear about Ray. I wish there is something that can be done, but cancer is just so damned awful. I am so sorry. All my love to you, Ray and Emily, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

May 13, 2015

Well I tell you I will Miss that Big Guy, and kissing that bald head of his when ever I would visit him and Heidi. Ray was always so very good to me and I’m a better person just for knowing him and Heidi, for those too together where a joy to watch. You could always see how devoted Ray was to Heidi and the love, respect ,consideration, they always showed to one another. Ray was one of the smartest men I knew, It seemed he could do anything, from jewelry to wood work, he was such a creative guy. For one thing his bird houses hanging on his garage, well I tell you birds never had a finer home. I was fortunate once to take a trip to Hawaii with Heidi and Ray. I could tell he loved it so much his pain seemed less there. I will miss his wit and his laugh now, he is now out of pain and forever young. Thank You Ray Man for always giving me so much kindness and your friendship. You are forever missed but always alive in our hearts. You where such an honest good man. With such good memories of the man you where. Love always to Heidi and Em for sharing the big guy with me. XoX Debbie