Ruth E. Letterman

Dear Les and Linda, I am sure that you must have felt as I did, when the Pastor gave his “speech” about your mom. I know it has to be difficult to eulogize when you don’t know the person, but I was distraught by his depicting her life as one of bitterness and regret. Yes, she was deeply affected by the death of Larry, but what mother would not be?

I feel a need to speak up here because I think that Ruth’s life needs to be CELEBRATED, not criticized. She was truly a unique and wonderful person.

If I had been the one to speak at her funeral this is what I would have said:

Ruth Letterman was a devoted mother, wife, grandma, aunt, sister and friend. She was a person who was tuned in to the needs of others. You always had the feeling with her that you had her total attention. Nothing was more important to her than to nurture those she loved and cared about.

My first memory of her was when I was dating Larry. It was time to take me home to meet the parents, but when we arrived, I got cold-feet and hid in the entryway closet. Larry was embarrassed and expressed this to his mother, who promptly chastised him for being hard on me and told him to let me be me. I was so moved that she stuck up for me and my silliness, and I immediately felt accepted by her from that day on.

My next memory had to do with her willingness to do what it took to make her son happy. and me Larry was based at Fort Lewis, and only family were allowed to visit on weekends. She and Ray took me, allowing me to “pass” as Larry’s wife so I could go with them to see him. She would have had more time with her son, but she chose to share that time and him with me. She was generous.

I remember talking with her in the garden in the back of their house. She was always giving me cherries and plums from the trees. She loved to share whatever she had.

I went camping with Ray, Ruth and Larry at Salmon Le Sac. She loved it there and was never more happy than when she was outdoors AND with her kids. or grandkids

After Larry died, Ruth and I once went to the gravesite together. We sat on the hill by the grave, and she shared with me that she believed that Larry was with the Lord. She said he had told her that he had visited the chaplain a time or two and she believed that he was a believer. To me, that meant that she was too. Maybe she was confused and maybe angry about how a loving God could allow her son to die… maybe she never really did come to terms with that, but she did believe. I believe she is now with her son and her husband in heaven, the cares of the world gone for good.

Over the years she wrote to me and I to her…especially on Mothers Day and birthdays. I took my children to visit when she and Ray were living in the basement of the old house. She was SO interested in my kids and treated them like little princesses while we were there. Cookies and peaches served up. She was always a servant. Always. It brought her joy to serve others.

She was a loving grandmother. I wasn’t there during those years, when Erin, Ellie, Alisa and Kyler were little but I heard stories about her love for them and willingness to spend quality time with them. I know that when they were with her, she was WITH them. Totally and completely absorbed in them. I hope to be the kind of grandmother that she was.

When I got together with Les in 1995, she was there to accept me as one of the family. I don’t think there has ever been anyone in my life who has been so attentive to me when she was with me… she anticipated my every need. Sometimes, it made me a little uncomfortable because I knew she was watching me to make sure I didn’t want for anything. But it was her way… she was truly a good good person.

We all age and die. All in different ways. I choose to remember Ruth as the friend, the advocate, the mother bear that she was.

She had her priorities straight….. Family, Love, People, Love.

What we can learn from her is the lesson of love and commitment.

Thank you, Ruth, for your life and your love.

Jean